Hey there everyone. I just thought I would fire out a quick blog post to you to get something off my chest.
I had a consultation with a new client today that really hit home. The session went well, but brought back a true story I heard a few years ago and made me reflect on many situations in my life that held me back from success. This story (and reality of the situation) highlight a common reason people fail to achieve their goals
Let’s start with the story (as told to me by Bedros, one of my mentors) that shows an interesting fact about crabs and the parallel with people in our lives…
On a trip to Alaska with his family, my friend happened to be walking by some fisherman on a pier. Beside the fisherman was a large white 5 gallon pail filled with a number of crabs. As he watched the crabs crawling over each other, one ambitious crab started climbing towards the top of the bucket. He managed to get a claw over the top rim of the pail and was well on his way to a “jail break”.
Being the good Samaritan that he is, Bedros informed the fisherman that he was about to lose a crab. The fisherman casually said “Thanks, but I’m not worried. Crabs ‘self-police’ each other. Just sit back and watch”.
As he continued to watch, my friend was shocked when the remaining crabs casually reached up, grabbed the trailing legs of the ambitious crab and dragged him back down into the bucket. The fisherman said “see, there’s no need to worry. The other crabs won’t let him get out.”
This story was a major “ah-ha” moment for me.
It brought to the surface a lot of situations throughout my life and that many of my clients have faced. It made me think hard about the people in my life who acted like those crabs and how I had even been my own crab in life by brooding over negative thoughts and self-perceptions. A lot has changed, but those situations are still a powerful influence on your thoughts and behavior when they are allowed to creep in. Thankfully I’m much more aware of my own limitations and those created by the crabs around me!
Back to my consultation today. My client was telling me how many people in her family and circle of friends do the same thing as the crabs I just mentioned. They blatantly tease and taunt her with fast food when she is trying to diet, and try to talk her out of starting a new exercise plan when she wants to get in better shape. Plus. in the past when she actually started seeing some results, they downplayed her efforts and even stepped up the intensity of their sabotage!
Hearing this from my client today got me very fired up.
I realized that this “Crab” story is a sad, but true picture of human behaviour.
Consider what we are faced with each day. Our path through daily life is surrounded by “crabs”, energy vampires, and haters who as my mentor says “suck up your precious time, quash your ambitions, motivation, passion, and enthusiasm.”
Our “crabs” in life can be anyone from strangers to casual acquaintances, to close friends and family members. Perhaps even your spouse.
These people are motivated largely by fear. They fear change, being left behind, and having their own inadequacies and poor self-image being damaged if you actually begin to change, grow, and flourish in a new way. Because they don’t have the courage or conviction to make these changes themselves, they focus their energy on sucking yours, dashing your hopes and dreams, and generally raining on your parade.
They may not even do it consciously, but the impact is the same. Too much time around the crabs and vampires and you will be a “bottom feeder” forever. You will be doomed to frustration by your lack of progress in life, business, health, or whatever you aim to accomplish! Maybe it’s even you who is the crab? Does any of this strike a chord with you?
So, what do you do about it?
First, you need to identify the crabs, vampires and haters in your life. Look and listen closely. They are there, waiting to drag you down.
Crabs kill Creativity!
They drain your Mojo!
They are energy Vampires!
If your own thoughts and behaviors are holding you back, start your changes there before moving onto others.
The next thing you need to do is begin cutting the crabs out of your life. This is easier said than done and sometimes hard decisions have to be made when close friends, business partners, spouses or family are the culprits. In situations where a person can’t realistically be cut out completely (i.e. family, spouse who you have kids with), the best solution is to limit distance and exposure to them. For example, we all have the “crazy” annoying family member who after every conversation leaves you feeling exhausted, depressed, and like you’ve been hit by a truck. Avoid these people like the plague!
So, take stock of the people, thoughts and ideas around you that are holding you back from success. Lose the crabs and start hanging around with those who challenge, encourage, and support your dreams, goals, and efforts in life!
Have a great day and watch out for crabs!
If you have stories about the crabs in your life, I would love to hear them. Just add your story to the comments section below!
Tim Borys is a Calgary Personal Trainer and with over 20 years of professional training and coaching experience. He is the owner of FRESH! Fitness, a top Calgary Personal Training company specializing in helping people live a better life, have FUN with fitness, and get the results they’ve always dreamed of!
Hi, Tim,
Yep, I can identify, commiserate, etc. with who the crabs/vampires are in my life and at times, it is me. Fortunately, in my personal life I can avoid those type of people. At work, it’s a little trickier but still manageable. Good topic and it applies to not only exercise but all areas of a person’s life too. I’m thinking, in particular, one’s choice of faith.