Today I want to shine some light on a common issue in life, health, fitness, and people’s weight loss goals. Its FEAR. Let’s talk about what is fear and how to overcome the fear of change. A client I had this week was the inspiration for this post. She is representative of many people on their weight loss journey and is fighting fear on several fronts.
What is fear and how does it manifest itself?
Fear has been known as:
Here is another acronym for fear that’s appropriate:
Regardless of the acronym, fear comes down to our brain worrying about a scenario that hasn’t happened yet. It is our skewed perspective on a worst-case scenario, that’s very unlikely to happen.
Fear manifests itself in many ways. Perhaps it’s fear of change, fear that the journey will be “too hard”, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of missing out, or fear that they will injure themselves.
The type of fear doesn’t matter. The solution involves using your brain to shed light on the situation and get fired up, helping you to overcome the fear of change you want to make.
How to overcome the fear of change?
Change doesn’t happen unless we are fired up enough to make it happen. It happens when we’ve tapped into strong emotions about our situation, and about the future that we envision.
I’ve often said that change doesn’t happen until the “pain” gets to be too much
That pain can be physical, mental, emotional, or social, but when it gets to a certain threshold (that’s different for everyone) the change process becomes much easier. After the threshold is reached, excuses begin to fall by the wayside, and the action gets taken consistently.
Unfortunately for too many people, they are like the frog that gets boiled in the pot. They keep justifying and resetting their “pain threshold” until it’s too late, or a catastrophic situation wakes them up.
In order to avoid this potential future, we need to learn to get fired up earlier in the process
We need to clearly tap into what’s important to us and then get out of our own way to create the forward momentum we need. This means stepping over our excuses and moving forward regardless of that fear of yelling in the back of our heads.
It means acting in the face of this fear by doing what is right and what we know we should do…even though that voice dissension in our head might not want to. It means tapping into the negative aspects of your pain. Deciding you aren’t going to put up with them anymore.
It means creating a STRONG and EMOTIONALLY CHARGED vision of the future that you BELIEVE is worth fighting and sacrificing for!
We’ve all had these fears. It’s normal. So are change, transformation, bravery, pride, and action. In the past, I’ve wrestled with both fear of failure and fear of success. Many times I’ve avoided doing things because I might be seen as a failure. Other times, I sabotaged my results because I didn’t feel worthy of reaching the goal I had set.
I still catch myself in these destructive patterns every once in a while and am getting quicker at nipping them before they take hold.
What fears are you holding onto?
Back to the client I mentioned at the beginning…
This week we had a deep dive session into her emotions around what we were asking her to do (eat vegetables) and the fear she has about making the necessary changes. After the discussion, it became clear that her fear of change and fear of success are major barriers.
She expressed that she hadn’t made the recommended changes to her eating habits because:
She doesn’t like the taste of vegetables
She knew it would “be hard”
While she didn’t say it outright, many of the things she said during our conversation led me to believe she didn’t actually think she could be successful (because she had failed so many times in the past), and that she had always been overweight so couldn’t see her future self and the benefits clearly enough.
She had always been “the fat friend” and couldn’t imagine herself as “the fit friend”.
THIS is where we are focusing our effort:
On opening the door to possibility.
Having her get excited about that possibility.
On narrowing the guardrails so she can focus on simple, repeatable keystone habits.
On reframing that defeatist voice inside her head.
If you could use help in overcoming your barriers, we at FRESH! would love to help. Just book your complimentary Success Coaching Session here.
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